batsy | bakerstreet TFLN (Reply)

A. AS BRUCE WAYNE
To the blissfully ignorant who know him as the trust fund playboy ditz
I: Fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
II: Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went.
III: Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in Maryland...

B. AS BATMAN
To anyone who knows his dual identity
I: I received a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent from your number. Are you okay?
II: Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
III: It's a light post hitting you on the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.